


Holting Back the Years

by NorahBolt56



Category: Remington Steele (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27616976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorahBolt56/pseuds/NorahBolt56
Summary: This fic is set in Laura's youth, not long after her father left. It is a prequel to my other fic 'Prodigal Holt' which introduced Laura's younger brother, Andy Holt (my take on the mysterious 'third Holt sibling')...
Comments: 16
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

Sixteen, almost seventeen year old Laura Holt stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her, fighting back her hot, angry tears. She was determined not to cry – determined not to let her mother get to her. Still, if she heard “Why can’t you be more like your sister Frances?” one more time she thought she’d explode. In an effort to take her mind off things she pulled out one of her favourite albums and put it on her stereo, cranking up the volume so she couldn’t hear her mother’s disapproving tones.

She sat down at her desk and opened a calculus book, hoping some study would help take her mind off things, wondering not for the first time why he had left. Her father. He had left them almost six months ago and it still felt like yesterday. Laura had never felt more alone.

Ever since she could remember she had been her father’s favourite and her younger brother Andy was clearly her mother’s. But no matter how much she tried when she was younger, it seemed like she could never please her mother, who was forever comparing her to her older sister, until she got to the point where she gave up trying. Unlike her girly sister, Laura was a tomboy, her father encouraging her to climb trees and play baseball and the like, all of which Abigail Holt frowned upon. She would often despair that she would never succeed in raising her younger daughter to be a proper lady. Laura, unlike Frances, showed little interest in learning to cook or sew or other traditional skills that society said a young girl should learn that she could put to use one day as a wife and mother, as Abigail thought and constantly reminded her of. Laura would rather be reading or outside, ‘always running somewhere’, as her mother would often remark.

She had often heard her mother and father arguing about her and she had wondered when he had first left if she had been the cause. That worrying idea had stayed with her for a long time.

Jack Holt, unlike his wife, had doted on his younger daughter. On the day she was born he had remarked she was ‘as cute as a button’ and from then onwards he would affectionately call her Button. Laura had idolized her strong, handsome father, following him around like a little shadow. Most of her fondest memories of her childhood were the times she had spent with him– watching her favourite tv show, Atomic Man, whilst curled up on his lap, or visiting the circuses they both loved. So when he had left without warning, Laura had been utterly devastated.

She knew deep down that her mother loved her but she always felt that she never understood her. Not like her father had anyway. And now he was gone it often felt like it was her sister & mother against her – her defender having disappeared. Oh she still had her ‘partner in crime’, her younger brother Andy but despite previously being close, they had grown apart somewhat since their father left. Andy’s way of coping was to rebel and to lash out at anyone who tried to help him, Laura included. Much of her mother’s energy now was focused on worrying about him and what he was getting up to, or else singing the praises of her older, now married daughter. And somewhere lower down the pecking order when it came to her mother, or so it seemed to Laura, came her middle child.

After the devastation of her father abandoning them, Laura had decided she was never going to depend on a man like that again. She didn’t need some ‘big, strong man’ to protect her, or fight her battles for her – she would make her own way in the world, doing something that made her happy. She just didn’t know what yet, but it was definitely going to be something exciting and adventurous, she thought to herself.

“Laura Elizabeth Holt! Will you turn that infernal racket down!” her mother’s voice cut into her thoughts, as she knocked loudly on her door. “Yes mother,” Laura sighed as she turned the music down a fraction and hoped, not for the first time, that her next year of high school would go fast so she could escape to college…

Not long afterwards her bedroom door opened - she was just about to inform her mother she had already turned the music down when instead she found her almost fifteen year old brother standing there. He waltzed into her room with a cheeky, dimpled grin that was not unlike the one she possessed. But she was not in the mood to be bothered by him at the moment – she was busy studying for mid-terms and if she didn’t do well she could kiss that scholarship to Stanford goodbye. “What do you want Andy?” she demanded, futilely trying to block the door as he barged his way in and flopped down on her bed.

“I’m just enjoying the fact that it’s you not me getting into trouble with Mom for a change,” he quipped as Laura rolled her eyes at him. “What are you talking about Andy? Everyone knows you’re her favorite,” Laura retorted a little sarcastically.

“Maybe once upon a time but not anymore. Ever since Frances got married she’s been the golden child. Now I’m just the little troublemaker who raises Mom’s blood pressure,” he stated wryly as Laura gave him a knowing look.

“Well you could try a bit harder to stay out of trouble,” she pointed out as he shook his blonde head. “And what fun would that be? Geez careful sis - you’re starting to sound like Frances,” Andy stated mischievously, knowing that would get to her.

“I am not!” Laura protested indignantly then added firmly, “Now will you get out of my room please – I’m trying to study!”

“Booring!” Andy replied as he rolled his eyes at her then instead of leaving her room he went to the window and proceeded to open it and climb out onto the roof.

“Andy! What are you doing?! Get back in here!” Laura exclaimed as he ignored her with a grin then pulled a packet of cigarettes and a lighter out of his jeans pocket.

“Since when do you smoke? Mother will kill you if she finds out!” Laura demanded as he lit one up then took a drag.

“Well she’s not going to find out is she? Unless you tell her,” Andy retorted as he gave her a questioning look, hoping she wasn’t going to dob him in to their mother. Laura debated with herself for a moment but at the end of the day she was no snitch. ”Alright – you’re secret’s safe with me. Just don’t set fire to the house okay?” she conceded as Andy breathed a sigh of relief and grinned and nodded.

“Come on – scoot over then,” she said to him with a grin of her own as she hoisted herself out of the window as well and joined him on the roof, to her brother’s surprise. They hadn’t hung out together much lately like they used to when they were younger, both of them caught up trying to deal with their father’s abandonment in their own ways.

“Want a drag?” he offered her the cigarette but Laura declined with a shake of her head.

“Suit yourself,” Andy shrugged. “You really should learn to live a little though sis.” In reply Laura tossed her long chestnut hair over her shoulder and assured him, “Oh don’t worry little brother – I know how to cut loose, trust me.”

Andy looked at her a little skeptically. ”What..with Marty Klopman?” he teased her as he made kissing noises and cracked up laughing. Laura thumped him on the arm and retorted, “Shut up – that’s none of your business.”

“Well at least I’m dating someone. I don’t see any girls lining up at our door for you,” she threw back at him a little defensively. “Well I don’t bring ‘em home do I? I’ve had plenty of girls,” Andy shot back as Laura laughed.

“Yeah right – you’re only fourteen may I remind you,” she scoffed as he suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable. “I’m almost fifteen,” he pointed out as a pout momentarily crossed his face which made him look like a young boy again instead of a teenager who was in a hurry to grow up and Laura found herself feeling for him. He was a boy who needed their now absent father for guidance and direction and she realised despite the ‘not giving a toss’ bravado he was trying to put on, he was feeling as lost and hurt as she was.

“Yes you are little brother,” she agreed with a sigh then the two of them fell into a companionable silence. “Do you ever wonder where he went Laura and why?” Andy broke the silence after a few minutes. Laura focused her gaze down onto the roof so he wouldn’t see the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes. “Yes sometimes,” she replied quietly as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

“He’s not coming back is he?” Andy then asked as he looked at his older sister, knowing she wouldn’t lie to him. Laura hesitated for a moment then found her voice, “No Andy – I don’t think he is.” As she admitted it to her brother, Laura also admitted it to herself, which she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do before. The siblings’ similar brown eyes met in a look that spoke of their shared pain and loss. Laura went to say something, trying to find some words of comfort both for Andy and herself, only to be interrupted by the sound of their mother’s voice calling them both for dinner.

“Come on we better go – she’ll ground us both if we’re late for dinner again,” Laura sighed as Andy nodded and quickly stubbed out his cigarette before popping a piece of gum into his mouth in an effort to hide the smell on his breath. They quickly climbed back in through the window and headed downstairs, taking their seats at the dinner table, both of them trying to ignore the empty chair at the head of the table…


	2. Chapter 2

A week or so later, Laura found herself arguing with her older sister Frances, who had popped over to the family home while her husband Donald was working back late at the dental surgery he had secured a position at a few months before. Their mother Abigail had announced the day before that she had invited a man over that night for dinner and Laura was none too happy about it.

While Abigail busied herself getting ready she had given her daughters instructions to finish cleaning up for her. “I still don’t see why she has to have this man over – I mean we know nothing about him!” Laura stated vehemently as she picked up a cushion from the lounge and instead of gently fluffing it, punched it emphatically. “Well that’s why she’s invited him over I guess – so we can get to know him,” Frances replied matter-of-factly.

In reply to her younger sister rolling her eyes, Frances continued, “You’re too young to understand Laura – there’s nothing wrong with Mother wanting some male company.”

At that Laura rounded on her sister. If there was one thing she hated it was being told she was too young or too headstrong or too whatever – it only made her more determined to prove people wrong _._ “I’m not too young Frances! I just think it’s too soon,” she retorted as she punched another pillow.

“It’s been almost six months Laura. You need to face facts – he’s not coming back. I know you were hurt by Daddy leaving – we all were. But it’s about time we all started to move on, including Mother. She’s not being disloyal to Daddy – he left her as well as us you know,” Frances stated.

Laura was silent for a moment or two, trying to get a grip on her emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her. “I know that Frances,” she replied, her voice suddenly quiet. “I..I just don’t want her to get hurt again,” she confessed, having seen the toll their father abandoning them had taken on their mother.

Frances looked at her and was about to say something when their mother walked into the living room. “Now how’s the cleaning going girls? Bob will be here any minute,” she said somewhat nervously as she checked her carefully coiffed blonde hair in the hallway mirror.

“And where is your brother? He was supposed to be home half an hour ago,” she added as Laura tried to think of an excuse to cover for him as he had made it quite clear to her that he had no interest in meeting the new man in their mother’s life. “Um..I think he said he was going to study at his friend Mark’s place. I’m sure he’ll be home soon,” she said hurriedly as Abigail gave her younger daughter a knowing look.

“Really Laura, do you think I was born yesterday? You don’t need to cover for him – he’s no doubt somewhere getting into some sort of trouble. I don’t know what’s got into that boy lately,” Abigail despaired with a shake of her head. “Anyway I’ll deal with him when he does bother to come home. Now you need to go get changed for dinner Laura,” she added.

“Why? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Laura demanded as she looked at the jeans & t-shirt and joggers she was clad in, which seemed perfectly fine to her.

“Really Laura – this is the first time Bob is meeting my children, well two of them anyway, and I want you to make a good impression. I mean look at Frances – she’s got a lovely dress and shoes on. Why can’t you take a leaf out of her book and make yourself look presentable at least?” Abigail chided her as Laura rolled her eyes. “Of course Mother,” she replied over sweetly but her mother picked up on her thinly veiled sarcastic tone.

“And that’s enough attitude out of you young lady! I want you on your best behaviour tonight and Frances I want you to keep an eye on her,” their mother stated firmly as both of her daughters looked at her in disbelief.

“Mother! I do not need Frances to ‘keep an eye on me’! I’m not five years old!” Laura protested furiously as Frances nodded. “Yes Mother – why do I need to keep an eye on her? She’d old enough to be responsible for her own actions - I’m not her keeper!” she pointed out.

“Oh so now I’m old enough? Five minutes ago you told me I was too young,” Laura couldn’t help but snap at her sister, given the mood she was in.

“Oh Laura honestly – do you always have to be right? I was agreeing with you if you bothered to listen!” Frances threw back at her.

“Girls – that’s enough!” Abigail stopped their argument in its tracks. “Now I want you both to stop your bickering for once – I want tonight to go perfectly, do you hear me? It’s bad enough your brother isn’t here, so I would like the two of you to not give me anymore grief if you please!” she implored them.

“Yes Mother,” both Laura and Frances replied, suitably chastened. Seeing the almost pleading look on her mother’s face, Laura decided to bite her tongue for the time being and headed upstairs to get changed into ‘something more suitable’. As she changed, she vowed to herself that she would never allow herself to be so dependent on a man for her happiness, as her mother appeared to be.

Laura just couldn’t understand how her mother, after being abandoned by her husband of almost twenty-five years, would want to go rushing into another relationship. But she also knew her mother had grown up in a different era – she had gone straight from her parents’ home to getting married and dedicating her life to being a wife and mother. She had never lived alone, and now without a husband, and one child having left the nest already and her other two not far off from doing the same, she was faced with that prospect in the not too distant future. So when Laura stopped to think about it, she guessed she could understand her mother’s fear of being alone, but she just hoped that her mother wasn’t rushing into things, only to risk getting hurt again.

Her thoughts were interrupted by an urgent knocking on her bedroom door. ”Laura – he’s here. Come on hurry up – I’m not sitting there at the table by myself with the two of them making goo goo eyes at each other,” Frances said in a hushed tone. ”Alright, alright, I’m coming,” Laura replied as she quickly ran a brush through her hair then said to herself, “Okay Laura – showtime,” before opening the door and following her sister downstairs, forcing a smile onto her face as she did so for her mother’s sake.

After dinner, Abigail and Bob retired to the living room, leaving Laura and Frances to their own devices in the dining room. “Finally we can relax a bit,” Laura announced under her breath, as despite their earlier argument the sisters shared a smile of understanding. Laura opened up the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of red wine and two glasses, much to her sister’s shock. “Laura what are you doing?! You’re too young to drink!” Frances hissed under her breath.

A cheeky dimpled grin crossed Laura’s face. “Oh come on Frances – are you telling me you never had a drink before you were twenty one?” Laura laughed as Frances shook her head and replied, “Unlike you Laura I don’t have the luxury of cutting loose like that. Mother has always expected me to be some sort of role model for you and Andy.”

“Well what about when you and Donald were engaged and you snuck off to that dental convention with him without telling Mother hey?” Laura challenged her as Frances looked slightly embarrassed for a moment but then couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face too. “Well yes I guess there was that..,” she giggled. “Well I think we deserve a drink after having to sit through that man drone on about his hardware store for the last hour,” Laura stated with a conspiratorial wink and a giggle of her own as she poured them both a glass and handed one to her sister. “I’ll drink to that,” Frances agreed and just as they were both about to take a sip, Abigail walked into the room and asked, “What is all the giggling going on in here?!” Caught out drinking by her mother, Laura accidentally dropped the glass, red wine spilling onto the white shag pile carpet.

“Laura! What on earth are you doing drinking? And to make matters worse, look what you’ve done to the carpet!” Abigail fumed then turned her ire onto her elder daughter, “And Frances you were supposed to be watching her! I’m very disappointed in the both of you. Here I am just trying to have a nice evening with a gentleman and I can’t even leave the two of you alone for ten minutes! I would expect that sort of behavior from your brother – not from you two. Now clean this up at once – and you are grounded Laura for a week!” she berated them under her breath so that Bob couldn't hear. “But Mother..,” Laura went to argue but thought better of it when she saw the look on her mother’s face. “Don’t argue with me Laura or I’ll make it two!”

Hearing the commotion, Bob stuck his head into the room. “Everything alright in here ladies?” he asked as Abigail forced a smile onto her face. “Oh yes Bob nothing to worry about– I’d asked Laura to pour you and I a glass of wine and she accidentally dropped some on the carpet, isn’t that right girls?” she quickly made something up as both Laura and Frances nodded, not daring to disagree. She then ushered Bob back into the living room, not before giving her daughters a pointed look which they had come to know well over the years, as they both realised they hadn’t heard the end of this by a long shot.

“Remind me not to go along with anymore of your wild ideas Laura,” Frances muttered as Laura sighed in exasperation as she went to get a cloth to clean up the wine, “Oh put a sock in it Frances!”.


	3. Chapter 3

_Morning, a few days later at the Holt household…_

“Now Laura I’ll need you to get dinner started tonight – Doctor Miller has asked me to work back a bit to get some urgent invoices out,” Abigail informed her daughter as she got ready to leave to go to her job as a secretary at a local doctor’s surgery. She’d had no choice when her husband had left them but to go out and get a job to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads. Luckily she had not forgotten the secretarial skills she had first learnt when she was not much older than her younger daughter. She had worked as a secretary until she got married a few years later, then as was the way back in those days, she had left her job to become a homemaker.

Laura couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little at her mother – just because she was a girl she was expected to do things like cooking and she didn’t think that was fair at all. “I don’t see why Andy can’t do it – he’s just as capable of cooking as I am,” she grumbled a little. “Or even more so – looking at how you charcoaled the toast this morning!” Andy put in cheekily from his perch at the kitchen bench as he held up a rather burnt piece of toast from his plate.

“Oh shut up Andy!” Laura snapped at him. “So I burn toast - big deal!”

“Now, now, you two - stop arguing!” Abigail chastised them both. “I am trying to teach you necessary skills you’ll need when you’re a wife and mother Laura, just like I taught Frances.”

“Well if I get married Mother,” Laura started to reply as Abigail shook her head and tut tutted a little, which only added more fuel to Laura’s fire as she continued with a determined set to her jaw, “I’ll make sure my husband can cook!”

“Well you plan on being single a long time then sis,” her brother laughed as Laura shot him a withering look.

“He does have a point Laura,” Abigail stated matter-of-factly as Andy flashed his sister a smug grin. ”I mean take your father for instance – he could barely boil an egg!” Laura physically winced at the mention of her father as Abigail continued, “The sooner you accept it’s a man’s world Laura the better. Now as much as I’d love to continue this debate on the battle of the sexes If I don’t leave now I’ll be late for work. And you two better get a move on or else you’ll miss the school bus.”

She then gave them both a peck on the cheek and wished them a good day at school, then headed off to work, leaving Laura still fuming a little. If Laura Holt had her way she was going to do her bit to change that fact – it might be a man’s world but that didn’t mean it had to stay that way, she thought to herself.

Shortly afterwards Laura and Andy left home to walk down the street to the bus stop. As they passed the Johanssen’s house next door, Laura kept her eyes firmly focused on the ground so she wouldn’t have to look at their perfect house with it’s perfect white picket fence and the seemingly perfect family that lived inside. Try as she might though she couldn’t help spying out of the corner of her eye as she hurried past, Mrs Johanssen giving Mr Johanssen a kiss goodbye as he headed out the front door to work.

With a pang of hurt and longing, she tried to remember the last time she’d seen her mother do that to her father – it seemed to Laura to be a lifetime ago. She wasn’t sure exactly what had gone wrong with their marriage – when she was younger they had seemed to be happy enough. Oh they had the odd argument here and there but nothing too serious, at least not at first. Life was certainly a lot simpler and a lot happier then, she mused to herself as she walked along with Andy. She could still remember curling up on her father’s lap as a young girl to watch her favorite tv show Atomic Man, or holding his hand as they visited another circus where he would always buy her cotton candy.

But the older she got, the less he seemed to be around. Suddenly he was too busy to throw a baseball to her and Andy, and more often than not Laura found herself curled up on his armchair watching Atomic Man by herself, inhaling the scent of his aftershave and pretending he was there with her, his strong arms wrapped around her where she felt safe and secure. But that security had been ripped away from her by his leaving, although when she thought about it, although he’d physically left around 6 months ago, emotionally he had checked out long before that. Over the years he had grown more distant – he was always working (or so he said) and when he was home, more often that not he and her mother would end up arguing about something. Laura didn’t know if he’d left for another woman – her mother didn’t really like to talk about it – or if he’d just got tired of being in an unhappy marriage. But whatever the reason, his leaving had turned their lives upside down and left emotional scars in all of them that would take a long time to heal.

Forcing herself back to the here and now as they neared the bus stop, Laura was surprised when Andy said, “Bye Laura,” then went to walk down the street before the bus stop. “Where are you going?” she demanded. “Not to school that’s for sure,” he retorted with a mischievous dimpled grin as Laura shot him her best ‘big sister’ look. “Now just hang on a minute – you can’t skip school!” she stated incredulously. “Just watch me,” he replied cheekily then added, “It’s waste of time anyway. I’m not smart like you Laura, so why should I bother?”

“That’s not true Andy – you are smart,” Laura tried to argue, then in an effort to convince him further added, “And if Mother finds out she’ll kill you!”

“Well what she doesn’t know won't hurt her - I’ll be home way before she is and she’ll be none the wiser,” Andy retorted.

“Oh you’ve got it all figured out smart guy huh? And what if school calls to see where you were?” Laura challenged him as she gave him a skeptical look.

“One step ahead of you sis - and them,” he replied confidently as he whipped a note out of his pocket and proudly stated, “I’ve forged Mom’s signature on a note to say I was sick today.”

“You what?!” Laura exclaimed as her brother’s grin got a bit wider. “I can do one for you too if you want - I’ll only charge ya ten bucks,” he quipped with a mischievous twinkle in his brown eyes, feeling rather pleased with himself.

“No thanks,” Laura replied adamantly with a roll of her eyes. “Where are you going then?” she asked.

“Just around,” Andy replied evasively as her eyes narrowed a bit. “With who?” she persisted as he avoided her intent gaze.

“Just some friends of mine – you don’t know them,” he stated a little uncomfortably then added defensively, “What’s with the twenty questions anyway?”

Laura sighed in exasperation at her younger brother. “Well for a start I’m probably going to be the one who’ll have to cover for you, like I had to do the other night when Mother had that man over. And well.. to be honest, I’m worried about you little brother. Skipping school, smoking – what’s next? I know it’s been hard for you since Dad left, it’s been hard for all of us, but what is any of this doing for you, other than potentially getting you into trouble?”

She was hitting too close to the mark and they both knew it – Andy knew she was right but he didn’t want to admit to his sister that he missed their father and that he was struggling to cope. So he was coping the best way he knew how – by acting out. So instead of confiding in her he used humour to deflect her concern. “Geez take a chill pill sis – I’m fine. So I’m having a bit of fun – where’s the harm in that? You should try it yourself sometime,” he threw back at her, his response stinging her a bit as he was dismissing her concern for his welfare as well as accusing her of not knowing how to have fun.

Her patience wearing thin with him, she snapped back, “I know how to have fun Andy! Unlike you I’m not stupid about it though! Go on then – go and play hooky, see if I care. But if Mother finds out you’re on your own!”, although neither of them really believed that.

“You better go Laura – you’ll miss your precious school bus otherwise!” Andy retorted with a smirk his sister chose to ignore as she shook her head at him then stormed off to the bus stop alone.

Once she got on the bus she found a seat next to her friend Meg. “Hi Laura – what’s up?” Meg greeted her a little worriedly as she saw the frown on her friend’s face. “My annoying little brother that’s what up,” Laura replied as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair. “What’s he done this time?” Meg asked understandingly. “Well he’s skipping school today for starters. I just don’t know what’s going on with him lately – I just hope he doesn’t get himself into any serious trouble,” Laura sighed. “Do you think he would?” Meg asked as Laura rubbed her forehead in consternation. “I really don’t know – I hope not,” she stated worriedly.

“Well onto happier topics,” Meg changed the subject in an effort to cheer Laura up, “Are you coming to Griffith observatory tonight? All the gang’s going – including Marty,” she said with a cheeky grin as a rueful half smile crossed Laura’s face. “I’d love to but unfortunately I’m grounded for the week,” she informed Meg.

“Why – what did you do? And you told me Andy was the troublemaker!” Meg laughed as did Laura despite herself. “My Mother had this man over for dinner that she’s been seeing and Frances and I had to sit through the most boring dinner with them while he talked incessantly about his hardware store. So after dinner I decided that Frances and I deserved a drink after having to put up with that. So I pulled a bottle of red wine out and just as I’m about to take a sip my mother walks in the room and I ended up spilling it. Boy did I cop it – hence the grounding,” Laura explained as Meg’s eyes widened.

“No way!” she exclaimed as a dimpled grin spread across Laura’s face. It felt good sometimes to let that side of her out – the part that acted instead of thought and enjoyed flouting the rules.

“Well can’t you tell your Mom you have to study at my place or something? It’s gonna be so much fun - come on Laura you have to come. Marty’ll be disappointed if you don’t,” Meg tried to convince her. “Well I could try I guess,” Laura replied, wondering if she had a hope in hell of convincing her mother to let her go out that night. She didn’t like lying, especially to her mother, but if she had to invent a story to do something she really wanted to do, there wasn’t any harm in that was there? she reasoned to herself.

“Speaking of Marty – have you let him get to second base yet?” Meg asked under her breath as she winked at Laura. Laura blushed a little as she shook her head. “No not yet – although he did try and cop a feel the other week,” Laura admitted with a grin. “Well what’s the problem? I saw the two of you making out the last time we went to the Observatory,” Meg stated with a knowing look as Laura sighed. “I know, I know – it’s just.. well to be honest he’s not that great a kisser so I don’t know how good he’d be at anything more than that.”

Maybe it was the romance books she was fond of reading but when Laura finally did go all the way with a guy she wanted it to mean something and she wanted to enjoy it as much as the guy did and not just be another notch on his belt. And while Marty was a nice enough guy – okay looking and funny – his sloppy kissing technique certainly didn’t live up to her fantasies. Her perfect man would make her toes curl with just a kiss and her insides turn to jelly with just a look. He would take his time and know what he was doing – something that the adolescent boys at her high school seemed to have no clue about. Still, Laura was pragmatic enough to know that waiting around for some perfect guy to walk into her life was a waste of precious time, so she may as well live while she was young. Before the demands of college and a career and whatever else lay in her future took over her life.

With that thought in mind she made her mind up – she was going to prove her little brother wrong and go out and have some fun tonight, regardless of what her mother might say. She’d sneak out if she had to she thought as a mischievous grin crossed her face. “Okay I’m in – what time are we going?” she asked as Meg smiled and high fived her. “Atta girl – and maybe you and Marty can work on his ‘technique’,” Meg giggled as did Laura, her quick mind coming up with a plan to join her friends that night..


	4. Chapter 4

When Abigail got home that evening she was rather surprised to find Laura had not only started dinner but had almost finished preparing it as well. “Well this is a pleasant surprise Laura,” Abigail greeted her with a smile as she came into the kitchen. “Well I figured you’ve had a long day Mother – it’s the least I could do,” Laura replied with a smile of her own, although she did feel a twinge of guilt as she also had an ulterior motive. As she gave her a peck on the cheek, Abigail peered into the pot Laura had been stirring and couldn’t help but saying, “You need to stir that a bit more dear.” Laura bit back the retort that came to her lips as she wanted to stay on her Mother’s good side, and instead settled for rolling her eyes a little behind her back.

“Where’s your brother?” Abigail then asked as she put her handbag down. “He’s up in his room,” Laura replied, thinking to herself, at least I know where he is now - unlike earlier today. She didn’t know where he’d gone instead of school or what he’d got up to and part of her didn’t want to know.

While her mother was still in a good mood, Laura decided to strike while the iron was hot. “Actually Mother I was wondering if I could ask a favour – well it’s for Meg actually,” she stated as Abigail looked at her curiously. “And what’s that dear?” Abigail asked as Laura put on her best poker face. She didn’t like lying to her mother but the ends justified the means she rationalized.

“Well our math teacher announced today he’s springing a calculus pop quiz on us tomorrow and now Meg’s panicking because calculus isn’t her strong point. So she asked if I wouldn’t mind coming over to her place tonight to tutor her? I know I’m still grounded but it’s for a good cause – I can’t let her down,” Laura implored her mother as Abigail thought it over for a moment.

“Well seeing as you’re helping your friend I guess I can make an exception. But how will you get there and home?” Abigail asked.

Laura hadn’t thought that far ahead yet but she thought quickly on her feet and replied, “I can ride my bike over to her place after dinner- it’s not far and ah..she said her Mom can drop me home and I can pick up my bike tomorrow after school.”

“Well alright then – but you’re home by 10 at the latest alright? It is a school night after all,” her mother reminded her as Laura nodded and beamed at her, not quite believing how easy that had been.

Once dinner was ready Laura hurriedly wolfed it down then disappeared up to her room to quickly pack some things in a backpack to take to Meg’s. Just as she was heading out of her room Andy came and leant against her door frame. “Don’t forget that sis,” he said with a knowing grin as he nodded towards her calculus text book which was still on her desk. “Oh I don’t need it – we’re just going to use Meg’s,” Laura quickly covered as Andy gave her a skeptical look. “Yeah sure you are Laura – you might be able to fool Mom but you can’t fool me. We both know you’re not going to Meg’s to tutor her so what are you really up to?” he asked.

Laura feigned innocence and replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Andy. Anyway – you have your secrets and I have mine,” as she gave him a pointed look. Then worrying a little that he might dob her into their Mother she added under her breath, “And may I remind you that you owe me little brother so keep your mouth shut!”

Andy laughed but nodded then stated, “Well whatever it is you’re up to, have fun.” Laura grinned at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes and replied, “Oh I intend to.”

**********************************

Laura quickly rode her bike the couple of blocks to Meg’s house then hid it round the side of her garage where she could pick it up the following day. Meg had told her mother, who was going out that night to play bridge, that she was studying at Laura’s house and that she’d get a lift home with Laura’s mother. Laura was quite proud of the elaborate ruse she’d managed to concoct which would hopefully convince both their mothers and cover both her and Meg’s tracks. She’d not long arrived when a car full of their friends pulled up outside Meg’s house and the two girls excitedly piled in. Laura found herself sitting next to Marty who greeted her with a grin as he stretched out an arm on the seat behind her.

With their friend Steve driving they got to Griffith Observatory quickly and they all piled out of the car, taking in the view of the lights of LA stretched out before them. Steve opened the trunk of the car and pulled out a sixpack of beers and announced with a grin, “Now we can get the party started - I swiped my brother’s ID and got us some beers.”

He started handing the beers out to the group of teenagers then stopped for a moment when he got to Laura. “Sure you want one ‘Straight A’ Holt?” he asked with a bit of a smirk. After her brother taunting her earlier that day saying she didn’t know how to have fun, the last thing she needed was this guy giving her the same attitude, and Laura was never one to back down from a challenge. “Just give me the damn beer,” she retorted a little angrily as she grabbed the beer off him and the others laughed with some surprise.

“Ooh she sure told you man,” Marty stated as he smiled at Laura, admiring her spunk as the others agreed. They all hung out together for a while, drinking, laughing and talking then eventually some of them started drifting away from the others.

“How about we go for a walk hey?” Marty suggested to Laura, keen to get some time alone with her and continue where they’d left off the last time they’d been up there. “Sure,” she replied with a dimpled smile as Meg caught her eye and gave her a subtle encouraging wink.

Marty grabbed her hand as they walked around the far side of the observatory. They sat down on a low wall, Laura looking up at the stars and swinging her legs back and forth. It was good to just relax and forget about things for a while - there were so many things in her life that she wished were different and that she had more control over, but up here they didn’t seem to matter as much.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” she commented somewhat wistfully as Marty watched her. “Yes you are..,” he murmured then hastily corrected himself as he blushed a little, “I mean yes it is.” Laura smiled at him as she curled her fingers around his.

“Jimmy Dean sure knew the best places to hang out,” she added as Marty looked at her a little puzzled.

“You know – James Dean, _Rebel without a Cause._ They filmed part of the movie up here,” Laura explained.

“Oh right,” Marty replied, not really that interested in movie trivia. And he had other things on his mind besides talking, he thought to himself as he leaned towards Laura and kissed her. Laura tried her best to get into it, kissing him back at first but when he tried to deepen the kiss she drew away a little. “What’s the matter?” he asked as she madly scrambled to think of an answer, not wanting to hurt his feelings by telling him the truth – that his kissing really wasn’t up to par.

“Maybe we should just take things slow okay?” she said as she avoided his gaze while he ran a somewhat frustrated hand through his hair. “But you let me kiss you last time we were here…,” he argued as a slight pout crossed his face.

“I know Marty..It’s just..,” she went to reply.

“Just what Laura? I really like you, you know and I thought you liked me too,” he stated, a look of confusion on his face.

“I do like you Marty,” Laura assured him as she rubbed her forehead a bit in consternation. Were relationships always going to be this complicated? she thought to herself. Part of her wondered whether she should just put up with it and hoped he’d get better with a bit of time and practice, but then another part of her didn’t want to just ‘settle’, for the sake of preserving his male ego.

“Do I have to prove it to you? I will if I have to,” Marty announced as he pulled something out of his back pack. Laura was surprised to see it was a can of spray paint.

“Marty - what are you going to do with that?” Laura laughed.

“This,” he replied with a grin as he shook it up and took the lid off, then on the wall next to them spray painted a large red love heart with _MK + LH_ in the middle of it as Laura looked both surprised and she had to admit, somewhat flattered.

“Marty! You just graffitied public property!” she pointed out.

“I don’t care - I want the world to know I’m crazy about you Laura Holt!” Marty replied as he shot her a hopeful smile.

Laura couldn’t help a dimpled smile of her own at his gesture and words. And she’d just seen a different side to him which she found rather appealing - a bit of a wilder side that didn’t mind breaking the rules, just like Laura had herself. With that thought in mind she decided tot take matters into her own hands and teach this boy how to kiss properly. She looked at him through her lashes and patted the spot next to her. “Let’s try this kissing thing again hey?” she suggested as his face lit up, Laura deciding, not for the first time in her life as she would find out, that if she wanted something done properly sometimes she was going to have to take the lead herself.

After a bit of an extended ‘practice session’ they momentarily drew apart and Laura happened to glance at her watch and realised the time. “Dammit!” she muttered under her breath as Marty went to grab her again but she held him off, a little more reluctantly than before. “Sorry Marty but I’ve gotta go - my curfew’s at 10. My mother’s gonna kill me!” she explained as Marty sighed, “Yeah I guess I better get home as well – my old man’s a stickler for curfews too. Plus he thinks I’m at Steve’s studying.”

“That sounds familiar – my mother thinks I’m at Meg’s studying,” Laura replied with a rueful laugh as Marty gave her a hand down from the wall and they went and found the rest of their friends who were scattered around the observatory. They reluctantly piled into Steve’s car, none of them really wanting to call a halt to their night of rebellious fun but none of them really wanting to incur the wrath of their parents either.

Laura asked Steve to drop her off a few houses down from her own, lest her mother see her pull up in a car full of teenagers, a few of whom were rather inebriated. “Sssh you guys – you’ll wake the neighbourhood!” she implored them as she got out of the car, Marty giving her a quick peck as she did so, as the others whooped and wolf-whistled. Laura flashed him a smile and said goodbye to Meg and her other friends then quickly walked down the street to her home.

She let herself in the front door, hoping her mother had already gone to bed but no such luck. Abigail was sitting up in the living room waiting for her, a less than happy expression on her face. “And what time do you call this, young lady?” Abigail demanded as Laura walked into the room, trying not to look guilty. “Sorry Mother but ah.. Meg’s mom had a bit of car trouble so she had to wait for the auto club to come and fix it before she could drop me home,” she rattled off quickly as Abigail regarded her, not sure whether to believe her or not. “Anyway I better get to bed I guess - all that study wore me out,” she added as she faked a yawn, keen to escape an interrogation from her mother. “Yes well I guess you should,” Abigail replied, deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt. “Goodnight Mother,” Laura gave her a quick peck on the cheek as she breathed a sigh of relief. She was also glad she’d taken Meg up on her offer of some mints to hide the alcohol on her breath. “Goodnight Laura – now straight to bed you hear me,” Abigail replied as Laura nodded then practically ran up the stairs to her bedroom, unable to hide the grin on her face as she closed her bedroom door behind her, not quite believing she’d managed to successfully pull it off..


	5. Chapter 5

The following week Laura was at school eating lunch with Meg when another of their friends ran up to them. “Laura! You’ve got to come quick!” her friend Kim implored her urgently as Laura looked at her with some alarm. “Why? What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly as she got up from her seat.

“It’s Andy – he’s getting beaten up by two seniors, Greg Masters and Jeff Preston,” Kim replied . “Great,” Laura muttered under her breath, both concerned about her brother’s welfare and wondering what on earth he had done to get on the wrong side of those two guys who had a bad reputation. Laura had heard they’d had brushes with the law and the two of them had been suspended numerous times for various offences. One thing was for sure – her little brother had bitten off more than he could chew this time.

Laura raced off after Kim until they reached the area where the fight was happening. She madly pushed through the crowd that had assembled to watch the fight and as she saw one of the guys roughly holding Andy’s arms behind his back while the other laid into him she saw red. She rushed forward and shoved the guy who was punching him as hard as she could and yelled furiously, “Leave him alone!”

The guy she’d pushed looked around, surprised to find a petite girl standing there. “This is a joke right?” he laughed mockingly as Laura glared at him then fixed her determined stare at the guy holding her bruised and bleeding brother. “I said leave him alone!” she said between clenched teeth as Andy shook his head at her. “Just leave it sis – I can handle it!” he stated as the guy holding him sneered, “Are you kidding me Holt? You gotta get your sister to fight your battles for you?”

“Well it’s hardly a fair fight you creep – two against one!” Laura retorted angrily, refusing to back down.

“Hey who you calling a creep little girl?” the guy threw at her as he released Andy and turned his attention on Laura. But instead of feeling threatened by his taunt it only made Laura more determined. She was sick and tired of males dismissing her because of her gender and besides, no-one messed with her family. She’d spent enough time getting into scraps with her brother and the neighbourhood boys when she was younger to know how to take care of herself and if there was one thing she couldn’t stand it was bullies. She drew herself up to her full height, which was still around 6 inches shorter than the menacing guy standing in front of her, and spat at him, “Go to hell!” as she kneed him in the groin, bringing him to his knees.

“Hey you can’t do that bitch!” the other guy yelled angrily as he advanced towards Laura but Andy jumped in front of him. “Nobody calls my sister that!” he leapt to her defence – although they sometimes fought with each other, Laura and Andy always had each other’s back. Andy got a lucky punch in, connecting with the guy’s stomach, however that only enraged the older teen further.

“That’s it – you and your sister are dead meat Holt! I don’t care if she’s a chick!” he threw at them angrily. He was just about to take a swing at both of them when two male teachers thankfully appeared. “That’ll be enough of that you lot!” one of the teachers warned sternly as he grabbed Greg’s fist. “The four of you – off to the principal’s office now!” the other teacher ordered them. “And Holt you better stop by the nurse’s office on your way,” he said to Andy who nodded somewhat sheepishly.

“Come on,” Laura sighed as grabbing Andy by the arm she steered him away from the two older boys, glaring at them as she did so. “This ain’t over Holt,” one of them threw at the Holt siblings as Andy flipped them the bird and Laura hissed at her brother under her breath, “Are you crazy Andy? Are you trying to get yourself beaten up again?”

When he didn’t reply as they headed for the school nurse’s office she added angrily, “You’re welcome by the way for saving your sorry hide! Now I’ve got into trouble as well!”

“Well I never asked you to!” Andy retorted heatedly. “Now I’ll be known as the guy whose big sister has to bail him out!” he grumbled as Laura rounded on him.

“You are unbelievable – you know that! They were beating you to a pulp – I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing! Now do you want to tell me what that was all about?” she demanded, her hands on her hips as she fixed her brother with an icey stare.

Andy avoided her intense gaze. “It’s nothing,” he mumbled, not wanting to get into it with her. “Yeah right little brother. What have you got yourself mixed up in? Those guys are bad news – not the kind of people you want to mess with,” she stated sternly.

“You wouldn’t understand Laura,” he sighed.

“Try me,” she replied, her tone a little softer.

Andy hesitated for a moment then stated, “I’ve been hanging out with this bunch of guys, including Greg and Jeff. They seemed pretty cool at first - they drive cool cars and..,”

“And smoke and cut school like you’ve been doing?” Laura interjected as Andy looked a little ashamed.

“They know how to have fun Laura – they’re not worried about following rules or stuff like that,” he tried to argue but his sister flashed him a sceptical look.

“Fun? You call getting beaten up fun??” Laura replied increduously.

“No,” Andy admitted then added, “But that was just a misunderstanding,” in an effort to make light of it but Laura was not convinced.

“Some misunderstanding!” she stated sarcastically. “Care to elaborate?”

Knowing she could be like a dog with a bone sometimes when it came to finding out things, Andy realised he had no choice but to tell her unless he wanted to be hounded relentlessly.

“Alright, alright I’ll tell you,” he replied as he looked around a little furtively to make sure there was no-one in earshot.

“They wanted me to steal some cigarettes from the grocery store – it’s kind of an initiation thing. But when I refused they decided to teach me a lesson,” he admitted as Laura looked at him with concern.

“Well I’m glad you refused but what are you going to do now Andy? Promise me you won’t hang around with them anymore,” she implored him.

“It’s okay Laura – I can take care of myself,” Andy retorted, not wanting to admit she was right.

Laura rolled her eyes at him as she rubbed her forehead in consternation. “Oh really?” she threw at him in an overly sweet voice. “Well in that case you can handle the repercussions by yourself!” she snapped, losing her patience with him.

“I’m not scared of the principal!” Andy threw back at her with false bravado as Laura shook her head at him.

“Oh I’m not talking about the principal – I’m talking about Mother!” Laura informed him as she realised with some trepidation that as angry as her mother was going to be with Andy for fighting, she was going to be even angrier with her…


	6. Chapter 6

“I must say Laura, I’m surprised to see you here. You Andrew, not so much,” the school principal said sternly as the two of them sat before him in his office. “Principal Miller may I just say in our defence that my brother was outnumbered two to one. And two seniors against a freshman is hardly a fair fight,” Laura pointed out as the Principal tried to hide the hint of a smile. “Well I can see why you’ve done so well on the debating team Miss Holt,” then he added in a more serious tone,”But nevertheless I cannot condone fighting in the school yard.”

Just as Laura went to argue again the principal’s secretary knocked on the door and poked her head in. “Mrs Holt’s here sir,” she announced as the Principal nodded and replied, “Show her in please,” as Laura and Andy exchanged a glance, both of them worrying what her reaction was going to be.

“Principal Miller, may I apologise for my children’s behaviour and assure you this will never happen again,” Abigail announced as she came into the office and cast a furious, disappointed look at both of her children, but at Laura in particular.

The principal nodded and gestured for her to take a seat. “Thankyou Mrs Holt – that’s good to hear. What I’d really like to get to the bottom of is why they were fighting the other students in the first place,” he replied.

“As I told you before Principal Miller – I was only trying to defend Andy,” Laura put in as her mother shot her a pointed look.

“Yes I’m aware of that Laura. Andrew - I’d like to hear from you though as to why Mr Masters and Mr Preston decided to use you for a punching bag,” the principal continued as he looked expectantly at Andy who focused his gaze on the floor.

“Andrew – answer Principal Miller this instant!” Abigail demanded.

“I.. I dunno,” he mumbled, reluctant to reveal the real reason to his mother and the school principal.

“Well whatever the reason I suggest you don’t make a habit of getting on the wrong side of those two neanderthals – they are trouble and you don’t want any part of that Andrew, mark my words,” Principal Miller said seriously as Andy nodded.

“Now I know you didn’t start the fight Andrew and that you Laura were only trying to protect him but I’m afraid there still have to be some consequences. Two days detention after school for you Andrew and a lunchtime detention for you tomorrow Laura,” the principal continued and they both nodded and replied quietly, “Yes sir,”, the two of them suitably chastised.

He then dismissed them and thanked Abigail for coming in. She walked them out to her awaiting car, all the while letting loose a tirade on them. “I have never been more embarrassed– getting a call while I’m at work to come and see the principal about you two! What were you thinking? And it’s bad enough you were fighting Andrew but Laura honestly? A young lady doesn’t do such things! I certainly never got a call to collect Frances from school for fighting!”

Laura could feel her anger rising to match her mother’s as they got out to the carpark. Instead of being proud of her for sticking up for her little brother, her mother was yet again expressing her disappointment in her and comparing her to her sister. And Laura had had enough – she felt something in her snap as she spat back, trying to hold back her hot, angry tears, “Of course not Mother because Frances is perfect. She has a perfect life, a perfect marriage, perfect friends and the perfect personality. But in case you haven’t noticed I’m not her and I never will be! I’m myself – I just wish that was enough for you Mother!”

With that she stormed off in the opposite direction as her mother and brother watched her go, both quite surprised at her outburst, although Andy couldn’t help a grin of admiration at his sister standing up to their mother. “Laura Elizabeth Holt! You come back here right now!” Abigail called after her but Laura quickened her pace instead until she was running. She didn’t know where she was going – she just knew she had to get away by herself for a while and calm down a bit.

Abigail watched her go, shaking her head as she sighed, “Always running somewhere,”, wondering to herself how she could get through to her sensitive, middle child…

**********************************************

Laura eventually made her way home – she still didn’t feel like facing her mother but she knew she had to go home some time. She was still fuming about the injustice of it all – all she’d been doing was defending her brother and what does she get for her trouble? A detention and her mother’s disapproval. She had tried to tell herself she didn’t care, but the truth was she did care – very much so. Ever since her father had abandoned them Laura had been left questioning everything she had previously taken as a given, and most of all questioning herself and whether she was enough. This deep seated fear worked to her favour in some ways, driving her to succeed and prove herself, but in other ways it was her downfall, causing her to overthink things and sometimes remain frozen in place rather than moving forward, lest she fail.

With all these thoughts and fears still whirling in her head, she walked in the front door to find Andy and her mother seated in the dining room having dinner. “Laura! Thank goodness you’re home – I was worried sick! I was about to call the police!” Abigail exclaimed as she leapt up, her anger at her younger daughter temporarily overridden by her concern for her. A wave of guilt washed over Laura as she saw her mother’s concerned expression – she knew that her mother loved her and worried about her, even if they often butted heads. “I’m sorry Mother – I didn’t mean to worry you. I just.. I just needed to be by myself for a while,” Laura tried to explain as her mother regarded her.

“Well come and sit down and have some dinner,” Abigail urged her but Laura shook her head. “Thanks but I’m not hungry – I really should get my homework done,” she replied as she went to head upstairs. “Laura you really should have something to eat,” Abigail countered. Laura bit back her retort, not wanting to get into another argument with her mother.

“If Laura doesn’t have hers can I have it Mom?” Andy piped up, as being a growing teenage boy he always seemed to have a ravenous appetite. “Andrew I think you’ve had more than enough already,” Abigail turned to respond to him and while her mother’s attention was focused on him Laura took the opportunity to disappear up to her bedroom.

She closed the door behind her and leant against it for a moment or two and thumped the wall next to her for good measure, her emotions suddenly threatening to overwhelm her. “Get a grip Laura,” she chastised herself then went to her desk and pulled out her books to make a start on her homework, finding focusing on work a good distraction from her problems.

A few minutes later she heard a knock on her bedroom door. “Laura it’s me – can I come in?” she heard her mother’s voice and was somewhat surprised to hear no disapproval in her tone. “It’s open,” Laura called back as Abigail pushed it open and came inside, closing it behind her.

She came and sat on Laura’s bed and was silent for a moment or two as she chose her words carefully. Abigail knew all her children had been hurt by their father’s leaving but Laura seemed to have taken it especially hard. She knew Laura had been her father’s favorite – he had doted on her in a way he hadn’t with his other two children. In his eyes his smart, headstrong younger daughter could do no wrong. And she knew Laura had idolized him in return – she had to admit she sometimes felt a little envious of the close bond they shared. And yet the bastard had left the apple of his eye, and his older daughter and son, not to mention herself, Abigail thought bitterly, and now it was up to her to try and pick up the shattered pieces of her family and put them back together.

Abigail rubbed her forehead in consternation, a trait she shared with her younger daughter who had yet to look at her, her gaze still focused on the open textbook in front of her. Laura didn’t trust herself to speak first, afraid if she did so she would break down.

“Laura I know we don’t always see eye to eye and I admit I was a little harsh on you this afternoon,” Abigail said with a sigh. Laura finally looked at her, a little stunned by her mother’s admission. “I know you probably don’t think so but I only want what’s best for you Laura. I’m worried about you and your brother. He’s out of control and you’re desperately trying to control everything,” Abigail stated as she shook her head and fought back a tear or two of her own. Her statement surprised Laura somewhat at how well her mother actually knew her and her brother.

She went to say something but her mother stopped her, “Please let me finish dear.” Laura did as she was told as her mother continued.

“I know that’s your way of trying to cope with things but believe me Laura you can’t always control things in life. Things are going to happen to you in your life that will be out of your control, including people coming into and out of your life, just as your father has done. I wish I could tell you that people won’t let you down in the future but obviously sometimes they will – especially men,” Abigail stated with a sad half smile.

“But there are some good ones out there as well – just look at Donald for instance. I know you don’t like me comparing you to your sister, but I only want for you what she has. A man who truly loves you and will take care of you,” she added sincerely, expressing her fervent hope for her daughters to not have to experience what she had.

“Well you don’t have to worry about me in that regard Mother as I’m going to take care of myself,” Laura assured her determinedly. Abigail looked at her sympathetically and replied, “Oh Laura dear - you’re still so young, you don’t understand the way the world works. You need financial security and stability in your life, not to mention companionship. I know you young girls all believe in this women’s lib thing but really Laura, equality of the sexes has a long way to go.”

“All the more reason why my generation has to keep fighting for change. I don’t want the world to tell me I can’t do something just because I’m female. It’s a different world now to the one you grew up in Mother,” Laura countered, trying to convince her.

“Well it may be a different world my dear but men still run it and have freedoms we will never have. Just look at your father – he could just walk away from his family without a second thought!” Abigail pointed out, an emotional catch to her voice.

At that Laura went and stood by the window, rubbing her hands up and down her arms as she often did when she was troubled. “I don’t want to talk about him,” she said quietly as she focused her gaze out the window in an effort to hide her tears.

“I know you don’t Laura but I think you need to,” Abigail replied in a gentler tone than she often used with her younger daughter. “I know he hurt you – he hurt all of us- and if I could take that pain away from you I would. But you cannot let his leaving rule the rest of your life Laura.”

Laura hurriedly wiped away the tears that had spilt down her cheeks, despite her best efforts to hold them back. The lump that had suddenly formed in her throat prevented her from speaking. Abigail watched her for a moment, knowing sometimes it was better to let her be rather than continue to badger her as she would only stubbornly dig her heels in even more. She got up and came up behind Laura and placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “Just think about what I said okay dear?” she stated as Laura nodded silently then her mother left her to her thoughts…


	7. Chapter 7

_A few months later…_

Laura opened the mailbox when she got home from school, as she had done every day the past week, anxiously awaiting a letter informing her of the outcome of her scholarship application to Stanford. Distracted as she was, she didn’t notice her sister and brother-in-law’s car parked in the driveway at first when she spied an official looking envelope inside the mailbox. Struggling to keep her hands from trembling a little she turned it over to see it was addressed to her and was postmarked Stanford University. ‘Icy calm Laura’ she told herself as she decided to bite the bullet and open it then and there, unable to wait a moment longer.

Taking a deep breath, she carefully opened it with her usual precision and pulled out the letter from within. She read it, then read it again.

“ _Dear Miss Holt,_

_Thank you for your scholarship application to attend Stanford University. We are pleased to inform you that your application has been successful and we welcome you to the Math Faculty. We congratulate you on your exemplary grades and look forward to you continuing your educational journey with us.”_

A dimpled smile crossed Laura’s face as she whooped excitedly, “Yes!” then ran inside the house, wanting to share her exciting news with her family. She found her mother sitting with Frances and Donald in the living room.

“Hi - you’ll never believe the news I’ve got!” she announced to them as her smile spread across her face, her brown eyes agleam with pride and excitement. “Oh Laura dear I’m glad you’re home. Your sister and Donald have the most exciting news!” Abigail greeted her at the same time, a wide smile also on her face. Laura stopped in her tracks for a moment, the wind taken out of her sails somewhat. “Really? What?” she asked.

Frances and Donald exchanged a glance, both of them grinning from ear to ear. “We’re having a baby!” Frances blurted out as Laura looked at her a little in shock. “You’re what?” she replied with a surprised laugh.

“Your sister is going to be a mother and you’re going to be an aunt. And I’m going to be a grandmother – isn’t it the most wonderful news?!” Abigail gushed as Laura nodded and forced a smile onto her face. It was wonderful news and she was happy for Frances and Donald but it somewhat eclipsed her own exciting news. “Yes..yes it’s wonderful. Congratulations!” she replied sincerely as she hugged them both.

“So what’s your exciting news Laura?” Donald asked as he looked at the envelope in her hands. “Is that from Stanford?”

Laura nodded. “Yes it is. I got the scholarship,” she replied in a somewhat more understated tone than she had used when she first came inside. “Congratulations kiddo – I knew you could do it,” Donald replied with a warm smile. “Oh you clever little thing you!” Frances added as she hugged her. “Yes that’s lovely dear,” Abigail stated, reacting with far less enthusiasm as she had done to her elder daughter’s news.

“Thankyou Mother,” Laura replied, her tone a little clipped as her mother focused on Frances again and started talking about all things baby related. Laura tried her best to look interested, all the while trying not to think to herself, ‘overshadowed by Frances again.’ The most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me and all I get is a “That’s lovely dear”, she fumed silently.

Not too long afterwards the front door opened and Andy walked in to find them all sitting there. “What did I miss?’ he asked with a grin.

************************************

Later on that night while Laura washed up after dinner, Abigail came into the kitchen. “You were very quiet during dinner,” Abigail remarked. “Was I?” Laura replied, trying to appear indifferent as she couldn’t help but scrub the pot she was washing a little harder. Her mother paused then sighed, “You’re angry with me are you?”

“What makes you think that?” Laura retorted, trying to keep the sarcasm out of her voice but failing. “There’s no need to take that tone with me young lady,” Abigail scolded her then added a bit more gently, “I am proud of you getting your scholarship to Stanford – I know you worked very hard to get it.”

“Thankyou Mother,” Laura replied, not knowing what else to say.

And then not being able to help herself, Abigail continued, “And who knows? When you’re there you might meet a nice, intelligent, young man with good prospects…”

“Mother! I’m going to college to get an education not to find a husband!” Laura interjected as she could feel her blood starting to boil again.

“Well would it be such a bad thing to do both?” Abigail countered. “You’d be hard pressed to do better than a Stanford graduate with a professional career.”

“And that’s exactly what I intend to be Mother!” Laura stated adamantly, deliberately ignoring her mother’s meaning as Abigail shook her head and walked out of the kitchen, “You’ll learn my dear.”

“I certainly will,” Laura muttered under her breath with a determined set to her jaw. She would learn – she would study & apprentice and do whatever she had to, to make it in a man’s world..


	8. Epilogue

_Sometime later…_

Laura and her mother and brother drove Frances & Donald to the airport in the family station wagon, Laura staring out the car window lost in thought as they drove along. With her sister and brother-in-law moving across the county to Connecticut after Donald had been offered a job opportunity he couldn’t pass up, she couldn’t help feeling that her family was being pulled even further apart. Without her father at the helm, it seemed like the ‘Holt family ship’ had been left somewhat directionless, trying desperately to adjust to a life without him. And ever since he left, Laura had felt like her previously perfectly ordered life was spinning out of control and she hated not being in control.

Once they arrived at LAX, Abigail parked the car, then they all helped Frances & Donald with their luggage into the terminal, Andy complaining all the way. “What have you got in here Frances – bricks?” he grumbled as he pulled one of her suitcases along behind him. She shot him a withering look while Laura flashed him a dimpled grin that Frances didn’t see.

Once they’d checked in their luggage, they all headed for the gate where Frances & Donald’s flight was leaving from. While they waited until the flight was due to depart the family grabbed a bite to eat and chatted. Picking up on her younger sister’s somewhat subdued mood, Frances came and sat next to Laura, while Donald and Andy were busy talking to Abigail. “You’re awfully quiet Laura – everything okay?” Frances commented as Laura forced a smile onto her face and replied, “Yes I’m fine,” in an effort to convince both her sister and herself.

“Laura..you’re my little sister - I‘ve known you all your life and I think I know when something is bugging you,” Frances stated adamantly. Laura sighed and focused her gaze on the floor for a moment or two then said quietly, “It’s just..everything is changing..again,” she admitted with a watery smile. She was just starting to accept the fact that her father was gone for good and adjust to not having him in her life, and now her sister and brother-in-law were moving away. “I mean don’t get me wrong – I’m happy for you and Donald, with the baby coming and Donald’s job opportunity. It’s just..well I’m going to miss you guys,” Laura admitted, surprisingly herself as well as Frances as they had never really been the closest of sisters.

“Oh you little thing,” Frances replied affectionately as she hugged her. “I’ll miss you too but you’ll be fine. Anyway, you’ll be off to college soon – a whole new start for you too,” Frances reminded her as Laura nodded. “I can’t wait,” she stated a little wryly as the sisters shared an understanding smile, both of them looking at their mother. “Keep an eye on him okay?” Frances then said quietly as she looked at Andy who was alternating between looking bored and then annoyed as their mother raved on to Donald about something or other. Like Laura, Frances was worried about their younger brother and the somewhat self-destructive rebellious streak he’d seemed to have developed ever since their father left.

“I’ll try but I can’t guarantee he’s going to let me,” Laura stated with a rueful half smile as Frances nodded. “Here – I got you something for the flight,” Laura added as she pulled a wrapped gift out of her shoulder bag and gave it to Frances. “Oh thankyou – how sweet! You didn’t have to,” Frances replied as she unwrapped it to reveal a box of chocolates. “Laura – you know me too well!” Frances laughed as did Laura, knowing she shared the same addiction. Frances then stuffed the box into her own handbag saying, “I better not let Donald see them – he keeps telling me how bad they are for my teeth,” she said under her breath with a roll of her eyes as Laura grinned cheekily and whispered back, “What he doesn’t know won't hurt him hey?”

Before they knew it the flight started boarding and Frances and Donald wished Laura, Abigail and Andy fond farewells. “Now call me as soon as you get in alright? And if you feel nauseous take that ginger I gave you Frances,” Abigail instructed as she hurriedly brushed some tears away. “I will Mother,” Frances reassured her as she hugged her again.

“We’ll be back for Thanksgiving Abigail,” Donald reminded her with a smile as he gave her a peck on the cheek. He then turned to his sister-in-law. “Take care kiddo and good luck for starting college. You’re going to do great,” he said encouragingly to Laura who smiled gratefully at him and hugged him.

“Andy.. you’re the man of the house now so try and not get into too much trouble hey?” Donald said to his young brother-in-law with a knowing look. “Yeah, yeah – don’t be such a drag man huh?” Andy replied nonchalantly but with the hint of a grin, as even though he didn’t like being told what to do, deep down he knew Donald meant well. Donald grinned back and gave the teenager a gentle, good-natured punch to the arm then stated, “Behave yourself okay buddy?”

Frances gave Laura one more hug then they headed through the gate onto the plane. As soon as they had disappeared, Abigail couldn’t control her emotions anymore and she started sobbing. “Oh a girl needs her mother when she’s expecting – what is she going to do without me?!’ she wailed as her younger two children looked at each other perplexed, neither of them quite sure what to do. “Do something Laura,” Andy urged his sister who narrowed her eyes a little at him. “Why do I need to do something? Why can’t you?” she retorted.

“Well.. because you’re a girl,” Andy replied hurriedly. “Girls are better at that comforting stuff then guys,” he stated matter-of-factly as Laura looked at him angrily. “Oh is that so?” she took the bait, as she glared at her brother and planted her hands firmly on her hips.

“Honestly will the two of you stop arguing! Your sister has just hopped on a plane to go and live on the other side of the country for goodness sake and all you can do is argue about who should comfort me?!” Abigail suddenly stopped crying long enough to chastise them both.

“And your brother’s right Laura – of course it should be you. A young lady should always be ready to offer comfort and consolation when required,” she continued as Laura stared at her mother in disbelief and her little brother smirking at her and mouthing “told you so,” didn’t help. Suddenly she found her emotions overwhelming her - she was sick and tired of always being expected to behave a certain way because of her gender. “I don’t believe this!” she exploded as she grabbed her bag and stormed off – she didn’t know where she was going, she just knew she had to get away and be by herself for a while.

Meanwhile, at a gate lounge a bit further down in the terminal, a handsome dark haired young man, barely in his twenties, stretched out his long, lean frame, as he tried to get comfortable in one of the rather hard backed seats. His gaze was transfixed on the small tv in the corner of the gate lounge on which an old black and white movie was showing - _Kismet, Howard Keel, Ann Blyth, Vic Damone, MGM, 1955 -_ he rattled off in his brain, glad for the distraction to while away some time in between flights.

He felt like he’d been flying for days – Paris to London, then onto New York, now Los Angeles, and his journey wasn’t over yet. ‘That’s what you get for trying to skimp on airfares rather than paying a bit extra to fly direct, sport’, he thought to himself a little ruefully. His next flight was to Albuquerque then on to Acapulco and then from there he wasn’t sure – perhaps he’d stay there for a while and try his luck or maybe even head to South America - Brazil or somewhere there like that, he mused.

All he knew was that wanderlust had gripped him again, as it did from time to time – he made it a habit not to stay in any one place for too long. Especially when things started to get a bit complicated – either when he’d attracted too much attention from the local constabulary or more often than not the local women. Not that he minded attention from the latter – quite the opposite in fact – but he sometimes found himself in situations where women wanted more from him than he was prepared to give.

So he stayed one step ahead of the law and one step ahead of love and that’s the way he liked it. No ties, no commitments, no expectations.

So absorbed as he was in the movie, he didn’t hear the announcement for his flight over the PA system the first time but he luckily heard it the second time. “Final call for American Airlines Flight 157 to Albuquerque, departing from Gate 22.”

“Bugger!” he muttered in exasperation as well as a few other choice expletives, as he realised he was at the wrong gate – 12 instead of 22. He hastily grabbed his carry on bag then started running through the terminal as fast as his long legs could carry him, hoping he’d make it in time for his flight. The last thing he wanted was to spend more time hanging around an airport. Although he wouldn’t mind coming back to Los Angeles sometime and spend a bit more time there he realised. He’d always wanted to visit Hollywood for a start, the home of the movies he loved so much.

Caught up in these thoughts as he checked his watch to see how he was going for time, he rounded a corner only to run head long into a young teenage girl, sending her flying as he did so, her petite build no match for his tall frame. “Watch it buster!” she exclaimed angrily from the floor where she’d unceremoniously landed on her derriere. She then looked up with a frown at the idiot who’d run into her, only to find herself staring into the bluest eyes she’d ever seen. A dark lock of hair flopped over the young man’s forehead as he extended a hand to her, a rakish lopsided grin crossing his impossibly handsome face, Laura noted, her irritation at being bowled over momentarily forgotten.

“My apologies – I was running for my flight and obviously wasn’t looking where I was going. You’re not hurt are you?” he asked with genuine concern in a predominantly English accent, although Laura thought she detected an undertone of something else as well. As he extended a hand to her he couldn’t help casting an appreciative glance over her. She was young, sixteen or seventeen he guessed, but with features so delicate she could even pass for younger he thought to himself.

Laura somewhat reluctantly accepted his outstretched hand, feeling her anger fade away as she tried to not lose herself in his intense gaze. She also felt a little embarrassed as she knew she was also partly to blame – she had been so angry at her mother in particular, but also her brother, that she hadn’t really been concentrating on looking where she was going.

“No, I’m fine – thankyou,” she replied with a small smile once she’d managed to find her voice, and as their hands touched they both felt something akin to a mild electric shock that took them both by surprise. His grin got a little wider as he held onto her hand for a second or two longer, her dimpled smile doing something to him he couldn’t explain. If only he wasn’t running for a plane, he thought ruefully to himself as he suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to get to know her better. Stop it mate - she’s barely legal, he chided himself as his thoughts momentarily wandered as he couldn’t help but admire her petite, slim figure and her captivating brown eyes. There was just something about her – the indignant way she’d told him off for running into her for starters, told him she was nobody’s fool and was perhaps wiser than her age would suggest.

“Well I’d love to stay and chat but I do have a plane to catch,” he announced with a mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes and a cock of an eyebrow that just about reduced Laura to jelly. “My apologies again,” he added politely as he took one last look at her, flashed her a smile and then he was off running again. Laura couldn’t help but watch the gorgeous ‘mystery man’ as he disappeared into the crowd of passengers milling about the terminal, neither of them realising that their paths were destined to cross again one day…


End file.
